My Thin @ Thick

那些年,我们一起追的女孩。

2012-02-17T00:58:00.000-08:00

回忆，往往是美好的。

这部戏，让我想到他。

戏里的男主角脾气，性格，长相，神韵。。和他很像。

一样的顽皮，一样的闯祸，一样的身形，一样的表情。

唯一不同是，他肯为女主角改过自新。

或许，我不是他的女主角。

所以...他没有为我而改变的必要。

倘若，他肯为我而改变，现在的我会和他一起吗？不知道。

但是，我已经找到了属于自己的幸福。

希望他也如此。

heart-beating morning!

2012-02-16T19:25:00.000-08:00

disastrous?? ya right, to my heart.. it's a no doubt!

it doesnt make my day even though others might think the other way round.

it's not as good as i hv thought.. but.. still.. i hv to accept it, isnt it?

time will pass, days will still be going by.. it's just nothing compared to the really-disastrous life!

Yean, stay strong! nothing can beat you down!

not to bother how the others might think of u!

Friends! stay strong! it's not the end~!

juz holding ur fates and moving on!

strive together for a brighter future!

he can, she can, we definitely can!

ya... it's all about our Adv. Dip results!

气愤!

2012-01-13T18:40:00.000-08:00

他们到底凭什么去毁一个女孩的前途?

为了那个第三者??

为了一个认识几个月,而放弃和你一起几年的女朋友?

而且还是心计超重的女生。

看到你们的和她的照片时，我真的很希望你们天天骂架，分手收场！

Procrastination is always the killer in life!

2012-01-03T02:09:00.000-08:00

oh plz, do not procrastinate!

plz plz!

Yeah, i m still lingering around!

FB n blog.

not even a lil intention to face my book. the real book.

y? becoz they are not attractive enuf. No 'Attention Grabber' XP

b4 returning to the dull world, take a nap to keep myself refreshed XP

fortune cookies asked me to start tomolo btw.. should i? of course not!!!!

the very last post for the year.. i supposed!

2011-12-31T00:51:00.001-08:00

MARRIAGE,

it's all about

affection, trust n contribution for the rest of life.

nevertheless,

the promise of two.

no matter how, no matter what.

keep it till the end of the life.

love u, my family.

bro n sis,

the new chapter of life is now started, enjoy it!

best wished from sis

the last post for this year, perhaps!

2011-12-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

same as last year, fight for final instead of counting down.

i beg for a better year, God, plz.

juz get rid off my ambitious mindset.

i just want to be a normal but not noble person.

i am growing shorter and shorter with the loads from 'distinction'.

merely a body, hardly a soul, these few days.

i hope everything will be going smooth, nt hoping against hope, right?

btw, a bright day ahead!

bro is going to begin a new chapter of life tomolo.

bro, sorry for saying not attending ur very historical moment 8hours later.

i will be there, no worry XD

officially broke up ^^

2011-07-08T07:34:00.000-07:00

hope that this break up can last forever. i m nt really feeling sad.. maybe a lil ><

break up for wad reason? a very lil small reason i supposed.

but, the biggest problem i think... is that.. v have been quarreling for few days.. not quarrel actually, is that i m the one nt 服气 in my heart... seems being insulted. seriously, i cant take it.

the 2nd problem, v have a deal, cannot angry or quarrel with each other if either one of us is sitting for exam... NO MATTER HOW... i know tat i m the one unreasonable smtm (smtm only a, does not mean i m wrong every time)... but v had a deal!

everyone tot he is sacrificing more than i am.. no doubt, it's yes! but, i hv sacrificed too. during his peak time, his exam time... i did tolerate for every of his unreasonableness-sssssss!! until i cant cope with it n cried after having phone with him... nw.. is my turn.. how come he had forgotten our promise? but... maybe i cant hope for the same thing!

whatever! my heart has been being poured by cold water.. no more passionate to care tis anymore! i can live better i guess..... maybe... a lil upside down....

2011-05-07T02:26:00.000-07:00

ahhemmm... not selling hair care product here!

it's all for my own use!

i din realise that i have spent so much money in the hair care...

i gonna list out the price one by one!

let's start from the top of left-hand side

1. nexxen : rm35
2. elipse : 2boxes + 5 extra capsules : rm16.xx

3. sunsilk conditioners (straighten - grey & manageable - pink) : rm11.xx

4. essential essence treatment cream : rm12.88

5. sunsilk treatment cream : rm13.xx

6. pantene overnight cream : rm12.xx

7. pantene leave-on : rm6.xx

the bottom

8. 2 boxes of loreal paris treatment cream : rm17

approximately rm100 i hv spent...

maybe it's juz a small amount for others.

but,

for me, it's quite a lot...

so, i have decided not to buy anymore unless i use up all of these.

if you asked me, are these bringing good effect for ur hair?

hmm.. nt so sure..

tis is becoz i m using these at one time... wad i mean here is that i use the different products from time to time... becoz i dun wan my hair to get used to the hair product n thus stop reacting with the product. tis is what i read from the net.. for example, i used elipse today, nexxen for tomolo and pantene leave-on n over9 for the another day. whereas, those treatment cream i used them as often as conditioner except the loreal paris (becoz it is more expensive as compared to the others) how about the conditioners? erm.. i seldom use them unless i hv no time to do a proper treatment. conditioner is the best choice for leave n rinse. the salesman told me that the conditioner will juz leave a temporary effect but not in long run. so, i din really invest much effort n money on it!

from my personal experience, elipse is nice to use as it has nice fragrance and it doesnt leave my hair oily all the day. the next one will be the over-night cream from Pantene! it's nicethat it has a great effect on the second day... but, the effect gone once the hair is washed. for temporary effect soon after hair washing, Sunsilk treatment cream would be the best choice!

however, i havent got a nice cream to leave my hair a great effect in the long term.. where can i get tis kind of cream? hmmm.. a no-answer question. even someone told me, "the xxx is very very good oooo~~~" but, the price must be 3-digit amount. in addition, a product which is suitable for you might not hv the same effect for other as well. what a disappointment!

all in sudden, i browsed through a web today! self-made shampoo! it's actually semi-self-made! haha! it's juz requesting u to add in some ingredients! i did have a try on it! how amazing tis experience would be?

蛋白质洗发水

　　据护发专家说，含有40%到50%蛋白质的洗发水可以促进头发的弹性和光泽，并能修护干燥受损的头发。如果自己制作洗发水，就可以提高洗发水中蛋白质的含量。方法是：把鸡蛋的蛋白和蛋清分开，用打蛋器把蛋白打到起泡，然后加入约两次用量的市售洗发水搅拌均匀，把一半的蛋白洗发水倒在头发上。等5分钟后再洗掉；利用剩下的蛋黄按摩头皮和头发，等5分钟后再用温水洗净；最后用剩余的蛋白洗发水再洗一次，再用清水完全冲洗干净就行了。

( pick it from http://women.sohu.com/20041216/n223289762.shtml )

it's so easy to make n use! juz that it's smelly... when i was pouring the shampoo on my head, i got th feeling that i was cooking! how would it taste if i put my hair into an oven Xd seems tasty! after all steps, i had my very tasty hair! initially, it does not smell bad and it's quite nice to smell instead!perhaps, it has mixed up with shampoo.. however, as it was in the half way of drying, the smell of albumin coming out! yuck!!!!! i have to apply Elipse on my hair immediately!!!

i hv no idea whether i feel it mentally or it's real that the so called shampoo works well on the dark coloured hair, but i will continue using it for the coming week! only then i update my blog on the effect ♥

XOXO

亲爱的。

2011-05-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

老公，诚实地答我。

或许，现在馋嘴的我，你会觉得可爱；做了你老婆后，你会不会觉得我失礼？

或许，现在爱撒娇的我，你会很喜爱；做了你老婆后，你会不会嫌我很烦？

或许，现在我所煮的东西不管多难吃，你都会喜欢；做了你老婆后，你会不会嫌弃？

或许，现在奔奔跳跳的我，你很喜欢；做了你老婆后，你会不会不再追了？

老公，要很诚实很诚实地答我~！

6th Anniversary, stay sweet ya ^^

2011-04-04T07:18:00.000-07:00

y m i so free to be here as tomolo will be the first day of final? XD

juz wanna lock the feeling here~ dun wanan forget about the feeling~ love love love!

he said : yer~ tis pic so fake! T^T

hii, this is my lil beast <3

i will edit the pic soon after my finals!

28th March 2011

2011-03-27T09:36:00.000-07:00

7hrs more then i can meet him up!!

so happy n excited as it has been half a year that v nvr met~

but... the oppo cost is tat : i will then miss my class!

ME class n MIS class!

it's nt a big deal to miss the MIS, but..

it's definitely an unwanted deal to miss ME >,<

miss pris, i beg u, juz do some revision, but nt exam format~~~!!! plz plz plz!

my lil boy does not know that i will be there as well~

unless, he view my blog!

but, i would be impossible as he does not like to view my blog n the time is so tight that he is not able to do so!

hehehe!

my turn's to surprise u!

rmb that last time he lied to me that he was still at saudi n will reach the next day..

but, when i was preparing to hit the hack... he was outside there with Secret Recipe!

however, his planning was suck becoz i got cha!

i could feel that something was not going as usual!

btw, he had tried his best to gib me a surprise! okie la! u worth a kiss~ muack~~~~

toodle-oo!

gonna sleep n wake up very early in the morning.. sigh.................

have a break, have a kitkat!

2011-03-24T11:19:00.000-07:00

suddenly, it pops out in my mind!

ya! i need a break indeed!

im so sick and tired of assignmentssss n courseworkssss...

they are annoying!

it has been so many days burning the midnight oil~

if it's countable, i think it would be tons that have been used up!

I NEED A BREAK, I NEED A BREAK, I NEED A BREAK!

anyone would like to hv some pizza? >.<

i wan pizza desperately!

HAVE A BREAK, HAVE A PIZZA!

=.= so lame

good9,peeps!

XOXO

toodle-oo!

喷火！

2011-03-23T03:34:00.000-07:00

真的是白痴！不想耕耘却想收获？！
世界上没有这么美的事!
自私到极点！
不明白为什么这种事都做得出来！
我们是你的佣人吗？
一而再，再而三！
发梦也未免太早了吧！
真的是都巴星！
阿娇二世！

还有一个更高手的！
竟然去配合！
好啊好啊！
继续放纵这阿娇二世吧！
但是，
当我做回相同的东西时，
你这高手DDY，
你就知道味道~
是吗？亲爱的高手！

*p/s 当你的心中再问，是不是xxx时，就证明你也有同感！哈哈！high 5!

Tsunami.... Japan

2011-03-11T01:22:00.000-08:00

plz plz plz....
pray for the victims... they are jus so pity...
y the Tsunami n earthquake wanna hurt the citizen on the earth..
can they stop destroying?
there were lifessssss n livessssssssss there....
how can they be so cruel to life,
how can they simply take human life away?
i hate natural disaster..

is there application of FAIRNESS but NT MERELY A WORD?!

2011-03-10T02:51:00.000-08:00

it's freaking, fucking, damning pissed off when i heard what tis kind of ppl complaining there!
is it this fella, XX, thinking tat XX is the only human?!
XX complaint for having so less of chance to xxxxxxx XXself!
yet, dun wanna putting much effort!
are u waiting for the benefit to drop from the sky?!!!!!
hoping for everyone to complete for u?
dun hope against hope! it would nvr be!
XX is tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo selfish!
do u ever think of others?!!!!!!!!!
nt the first time d! u r so irresponsible!
i hv been tolerate for so many times!

yet, there is alwis a kesian/stupid person to help n tolerate! definitely nt ME! dun ever dream of it!

argggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

于心不忍。

2011-03-09T17:49:00.000-08:00

每一次，每一次，每一次地宠你。
每一次，每一次，每一次地维护你。
却，
每一次，每一次，每一次地被别人当作坏人。

每一次，每一次，每一次地在你前面低头，
每一次，每一次，每一次地对你心存歉意时，
却，
每一次，每一次，每一次地被你的言语而愤怒。

可我，
每一次，每一次，每一次地想报复，
却
每一次，每一次，每一次地于心不忍。

i love u, boy

2011-03-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

i miss my boy..
it's been few days that v dint have a proper talk..
he is rushing for his assignments..
a poor lil boy...
haiz...
wondering wad i can help to lessen his burden..
feel sad when i can do nothing for him..
wad i can do is juz, stop calling him, let him concentrate in his assignment..

hey, me! stop annoying! he is there struggling for our future!

my love, awesome!

2011-03-03T06:40:00.000-08:00

my lil boy juz told me that he wants to buy me a iPad 2 <3

but, it's impossible. becoz it's freaking expensive!

i would rather buy a new laptop with multi function.

btw, i feel happy for hearing tat he is willing to buy me one.

even though i know it would nvr be..

but, it's sweet to know that ur bf sayang n pamper u as he alwis would.

it's touching, even a word.

i love my lil boy...

比fucker还fucker!

2011-03-02T02:37:00.000-08:00

今天发生了很多让我超不爽的事。

别的只是点缀。

原来，这个所谓的朋友，这个人，一直以来都爱踩着人家上。

刚开始，我真的以为我的错觉。

但是，第三次了。他踩着我上。

第三次。。。你已经踩过线了。

你已经过了三次机会。我不会再原谅你。

你已经犯了我。

对她，我死心了！

2011-02-17T00:30:00.000-08:00

原来，她真的非一般自私！

我一次又一次的劝自己不要多想。

但原来我真的没有错。

我真的很生气她！

完全不想和她做朋友！更不想对着她。

还有，请你不要把别人的好心当应份好吗？！！！！！！！！

my valentine 2011

2011-02-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

my valentine's day..

as usual, receiving flowers n ferrero rocher.

what the difference is juz there was no longer roses but tulips instead.

i love tulips!

frankly, got a number of frenz jealous me for receiving flowers every year..

but,

they dunno,

i would prefer to be with him, rather than receiving flowers.

what to do, it is distant love!

i cant hope for more, he needs his studies n careers,

think positively, i will treasure him more as v cant really meet up everyday!

v have been together for so many years n i hv ald got used to it!

the feeling of being apart =( so bad

can i hv an affair in Malaysia? XP

Happy CNY

2011-02-03T21:13:00.000-08:00

had a great yet boring day at my hometown yesterday!

i feel so angry for my grandma. yet, i cant voice it out..

she does bully my mum since my mum was born..

i am so wondering... what my mum had done rendering her to bully my mum?

becoz of she is having so many children n my mum is the neglected?

or,

becoz of my mum tolerate her all the time?

or,

becoz of my dad is poor n being looked down? (fur sure, tis is main part of the reason)

she is juz so bias n it does make me angry!

i have never hoped for love, fairness, even inheritance from her!

cant she just treat n respect my parents as human?

dun ever blame me for scolding her n looking her down!

she bullies my mum in front of me!

how can i tolerate?

my mum cant ever utter a word.

okie, then i do it! i dislike her top to toe sometimes!

tat's y i want to be competent n rich to lead my mum n dad a good live!

note : my parents are both neglected in their respective family.

hmm... stop the heartbreaking family matter!

hohoho.. now only i knew that, i hv a Japenese sis-in-law!

it's awesome!

she is so cute n talkative yet funny!

she is some kind of 大笑姑婆！

she said she will be coming to make sushi for us! haha!

ermermerm.. dunno when =P

i told her i dun wan the raw one!!!!

2011-01-26T20:30:00.000-08:00

there are many choices in one's life. it's depends on the owner of life the way to choose it.

once the way is chosen, not to complain and not to looking backward, they are all sunk cost. u have no U-turn, instead turning out a better way than the current one. life itself is easy, juz the way u walked on it makes it turned out to be difficult. n, u, r the one non-stop complaining for all hell. but, try to cool down n think, is it really that hard? is it really that unfair for u? think twice as u r the one making it complicated. u r the one starts the game n u r the one who has chosen the way. u must therefore take what it makes u no matter how n no matter what. no one is born to walk.. no one is born to choose the right path, neither u nor me.

i m so down..

2011-01-26T04:56:00.000-08:00

how good if my bf is now here with me but nt ignoring me when i m sick.

maybe, sending me a bread or maybe consoling me...

i m so tired n restless..

i hate falling sick..

i hate quarreling with bf when i m sick..

maybe, nt quarreling but juz ignoring.....

at least there is a talk for quarreling...

happy family ♥♥

2011-01-22T04:22:00.000-08:00

the left hand sided bunny is from my bf's mum ♥

it's Bao Bao!

the right hand sided bunny is from my bf ♥

it's Bei Bei!

welcome to my room, Bao Bao!

the camera in between is from my bf ♥

the gift of the last year end!

gift-with-no-reason!

book-crunching!

2011-01-17T08:42:00.000-08:00

can u c?

i m currently doing this kind of act!

nightmare!

i m tired of tat... plz stop it..

2011-01-17T05:44:00.000-08:00

i have left less than 39hours to study...

i force myself not to think of those quarreling..

but i failed..

i am crying..

for a bastard!

all promises and dealings turn to be a hole all in a sudden!

i m suffering......... i m tired...

waiting for miracle =(

2011-01-17T00:03:00.000-08:00

i need gut and time..

i dunno how to deal with inches2 Business Economics within 2 days?

18 chapters!

i reluctantly start it as i m bored for studying!

"hi, i m Libra"

2011-01-15T07:15:00.000-08:00

白羊 ARIES : 04/19 --- 05/13

金牛 TAURUS : 05/14 --- 06/22

双子 GEMINI : 06/23 --- 07/21

巨蟹 CANCER : 07/22 --- 08/10

狮子 LEO : 08/11 --- 09/16

处女 VIRGO : 09/17 --- 10/31

天秤 LIBRA : 11/01 --- 11/23

天蝎 SCORPIO : 11/24 --- 11/29

蛇夫 OPHIUCHUS : 11/30 --- 12/17

射手 SAGITTARIUS : 12/18 --- 01/19

山羊 CAPRICORN : 01/20 --- 02/17

水瓶 AQUARIUS : 02/18 --- 03/12

双鱼 PISCES : 03/13 --- 04/18

not every single one of us could ever imagine of changing in horoscope.. isnt it?

i was freaked out as i m no longer a

SCORPIO

instead,

i m now reluctantly a

LIBRA.

it's hard for me to accept even though i has no choice.

i have been being used to it a Scorpio..

being a bad one as described in Scorpio Horo..

btw..

even there is a changes in Horo,

but i m still me,

isnt it?

i wan my scorpio back!

one will only be treasuring when something is no longer belonged to u...

i m now knowing it well...

=( plz... stop it!

2011-01-13T04:28:00.000-08:00

why must there natural incidents every way & day?

why God is so cruel to them or us?

there are recently many cases about flood or accidents.......

it's so so so scary...

life is just so "perishable"...

pissed off

2011-01-12T20:42:00.000-08:00

why there are many jerks, hypocrisies around me?

they are just so annoying n hv pissed me off!

can they get lost?!!!

how only they can let me off?

Ma Ya

2011-01-12T04:22:00.000-08:00

i m wondering, is it Ma Ya true?

i m quite afraid of it....

if it's true, what the point for me to study so hard?

if it's not... y there are many Act of God happening all around the world?

i m so looking forward to 12.12.2012..

i think about it every now and then!

i m bad =(

2011-01-10T20:25:00.000-08:00

i had been treating him badly.. from my age of nearly 13-15

hmm..

worse than all those girls that he loved!

sometimes, i do think, whether i m the Mrs. Right for him?

Am i deserved for his love?

i dunno.. n dun want to know!

whether am i deserved or not, i m still loving him for this moment!

i hope that our love nvr fade.. last longer n longer!

I miss my yang =(

2011-01-10T07:50:00.000-08:00

miss my babi pork chop in sudden =(

miss badly..

miss the day v were lingering in the dessert shop...

he was eating his herbal dessert,

feeding me once but no more after that..

becoz i was just licking n sucking the sweet syrup n left him the bitter one =P

miss the day we were travelling to Melaka,

having fun there..

n..

the first time i stayed over his house..

*plz, dun think those bad side, his parents were there too*

the first time i revealed my "not-so-good" me to his mom..

i dun think his mom cares about that though!

miss ><

good9..

XOXO

anti-jerk

2011-01-10T03:59:00.000-08:00

there is a jerk around me...

is definitely a jerk!

有事钟无艳，无事夏迎春

sigh....

2011-01-08T20:21:00.000-08:00

Blog, the short form of Weblog, a personal online journey that is frequently updated for the consumption of the public... definition from a web =)

i have just asked one friend of mine,

y didnt u update ur blog *as seem i hv updated my blog =(*

he told me that "i wanted to write too, about yesterday event. but, it

s my fault, so, not good to blog it out"

hmmm.... i hesitate a wee..

maybe different person has their own style, but, for me,

blog, is a way to express urself no matter u r right or wrong..

it's not a space for other to judge me! isnt it?

if one's judging me through my blog, he or she is definitely not welcomed!

*no mean to offend ya =)*

Choco Jelly WA!

2011-01-08T00:23:00.000-08:00

Choco Jelly!

flipping those pages in ur mind back to childhood??

nah nah~

i din...

feeling more like...

oh no.. so sweet-kind of junk!

my teeth will drop even faster after eating all =(

but, better than none rite? XD

P/S: the first reaction after i got tis is : God! Choco Jelly wa! still young meh!

2010-10-25T08:41:00.000-07:00

人就是那么的可怕，那么的无情。

就因为你不肯帮他人一件事，

就已经抵过了你曾经给于的协助。

毫不留情的，

看也不看你一眼，留也不留一句话。

这就是人的憎恶。

女生也只不过雌雄，褒贬高手。

没有什么值得留念，没有什么值得开心。

女人。。。

Dream

2010-10-23T22:20:00.000-07:00

some one pushing someone down the stair....

someone died.....

I witnessed that...

i ran back home... my granny house.. but, it did not look much alike..

an uncle spying me when i were changing my clothes...

i received a call...

he died...... he was no longer with me...

i m getting crazier and crazier....

i wanted to attend his funeral.. but i was not invited..

i cried n cried n cried..... feeling like the world upside down....

have been crying for 3 days at least!

i wanna married him..... but, nt approved by his dad...

no matter how.. i was still crying..

everyone persuaded me to find another one

but... the last sentence was that "我永远都不可能找到更好的西瓜"......

i opened my eyes, it was juz a dream... but... my pillow was wet.... my eyes were swollen.. tear was still rolling down my checks.....

i called him.... n i cried even hard!!!!

luckily he is still with me!!!!! my love!

the Essay i used to read.. it's so true!

2010-10-16T23:07:00.000-07:00

i used to read an essay written by a student.. a college student i suppose...

it's about...

the students nowadays are so childish n selfish..

what is meant by so?

while they are studying, their friends ask them, "what are you doing? busy?"

their answer is "Oh, i m watching TV!"

the interpretation by the college student is juz so true.

she said that,

human mind is always like tat,

"dun wanna tell others they are studying, so that they wont remind their friends of studying.

therefore, their friends will juz relax n play like hell all the time n wont study in order to compete with them in academic..."

it's totally hilarious!

while you are reading tis, u will think that, they are so bad.

but, dun u remember, u used to be one of them! haha!

when i read that, it reminded me the younger me with the immature mindset.

when looking back, i used to be so childish =D

even u are studying, what the point to cheat? ppl's act will not change one's mind unless u r the powerful enough to that person. but, is it ur friends will stop studying becoz of we are not studying? hmm.. dun be silly, u are not that powerful!

it's so funny after all when i recalled back the little young one i used to be!

my God damn result

2010-10-04T22:37:00.000-07:00

i m so sad n mad for my result..
my accounting.. A-... n my expectation for accounting is alwis A.
as i m taking for accounting course, accounting must be A as it's my main n major subject i need to master! tat's is y A- for me is an ashame!
i cant accept that my accounting dropped to A-.
it's still acceptale if the A- is for other subjects..
i m still considering whether to hv a check on the subject or juz giving up my mind n forget about that. i m so sick about tis... should i make it?
the difference between A- and A is juz the 5 marks... but... the difference between B+ and A- is also the God damn 5marks. which should i opt to? it's all up to God now... decision will be made today night or tomolo morning...... today is a bad day to me... my 4flat gone... everything is upside down. what should i do? what should i do?

to my friend.. dun greet me for my result... greeting is now a trgger point to my sadness... my resut is not deserved for a greeting even a minor one.......

my CGPA...... slap myself............

A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A- A-

all these A- seem like laughng me... i reallly cant accept it at tis moment.......................

Be Who You Are and Say What You Feel Because Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind

2010-09-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

how many ppl can really do that?

instead of flattery and pretending?

how many ppl really mind yet they are still care about u?

there hv no certain rite?

no matter how..

friend in need is really always the friend indeed..

with juz a simple n single matter..

i can know how many friends indeed i hv..

the result freaked me out..

maybe, i m not a friend indeed to others though...

i m not good enough...

toodle-oo XO

blood..... i hate you

2010-09-24T23:14:00.001-07:00

hate the smell of the blood..

hate the blood flowing out from my nasal to my throat..

hate the blood flowing out from my mouth....

it's disgusting when i saw the fresh reddish blood..

i feel scared.. afraid.. but without the reasons why

hate eating medicine for 10days..

hate to watch out for the clock to avoid the time over for nasal spray..

hate different types of spray i hv to use..

hate bring spray n medicine to school...

while i was typing blog juz now... the blooding dropping out.....

the scary fresh reddish blood..

i hurt the inner space of the nasal... (i think so)

i juz dun wan the blood dropping...

y.... y it is still bleeding?

B-L-O-O-D

2010-09-22T00:47:00.000-07:00

Blood..

a very normal word to me right now..

for others : oh gosh! you are bleeding..

for me : ya meh? haiz... need to wipe if off again..

keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding...........................

everything is tasteless for me..

bitter, sweet, sour and spicy are juz the words of description..

every 2 to 3 days, i need to go back to hospital for appointment..

for the doctor to suck my blood out from the nose n nostril!

first of all.... the doctor will smile to me!

then! heheheh, he push the tube down the nostril through my nose!

godness gracious!

the latest way of abuse!

reluctantly going back for appointment... T.T

3days 2 night trip in hospital

2010-09-19T08:40:00.000-07:00

at first,

i feel happy for operation becoz of the live after that is juz so longed!

however,

10.1x am, the first injection made the regret took over the happiness!

damn godness,

the first injection did not work out as the doctor said my vain is juz so narrow..

okie..

here, the second came!

without any warning, the needle was injected inside my left hand's vain! oucccccccchhhhh!!

the tear nearly streaming down..... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

eiieiei? where is the first needle? when it was pulled out? i hav no idea as i was in my very own "wonder"land at the moment!

hoho.. second is not enuf!

10. 2x am, the third one!

the anesthetic!! oucccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhh! the live-taken injection!

i will never forget the feeling..

the solution will transfer from the back of left hand to the whole body... the solution is somehow cool... the muscles were cramping whenever the solution flew through

.. you hav no way to run... you hav no energy to move.. even a finger.. i was totally helpless! the tear cant even drop out!

when i sensed that the solution went through half of my body, i fell a deeeep sleep....

11.4x am..... my eyes opened.. but i cant move.. the only one can move was eyeballs!

i was keep on struggling... struggling for water.. my throat is aching! sore throat!!!!!!!

i needed water! water! water! i was groaning and crying.... but... no ppl wanna treat me... the only one who came to me was only a the male nurse ( the nurse who taking care of me from the start, quite fat.. quite ugly, but he is kind ♥ )

he told me: 小妹,你回去就可以喝水了...小妹，你等一下，很快很快...小妹，我打电话去催了。

he urged the ward nurses 3 times! so touching.. the nurse treated me very well *thumb up*

after the operation....

i was in the ward for so long...... only my bf was there with me.... and my mom with me at night..

so boring.. so so so boring... my days was made with comics, fiction and magazine.. laying on the bed... rolling my eyeballs... the hospital blocks the msn and pps..

still got lotz of time to capture... =.=

2+1 days trips - A life of blessed me

2010-09-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

DAY 1

- reached Melaka

- checked in

the first day of my trip to melaka with my bf and his relatives! the whole day, we were relaxing in the hotel.. staying in the hotel and using all the facilities. it did not turn out as planned. it disappointed me initially as i really hoped to visit the St' Paul Church and the Wall *i dunno the name T.T*

v had been swimming for 1 hour and using the Sauna. How stupid i m after realising that the time when i was joining the class trip to PD, i had actually utilised the Steam Room instead of Sauna! haha! the actual Sauna is very hot with high temperature, yet the steam room is much more 'harmony'...

my bf is very 8 n 'many hands'.. he took our room key '1704' to test the Executive Club Facilities. at first, i juz feel like 'aiyo.. impossible la, our room is normal room, how could you join the Executive one?! wasting time' out of expected, the door open!!! EXECUTIVE CLUB using by EXECUTIVE CUSTOMER!!! how could the door opened??!!! Thanks God, the ppl gave us the wrong room from Normal to Executive! ** it's actually the same as the normal room in the facet of decoration n furniture. juz the floors of the room make it's special** haha~ Due to his busy-body-ness, v got free food n wain!

at night, v went to the Portuguese Village to enjoyed seafood ♥ my favorite!! but.. it's not as tasty as i expected again.. haiz haiz haiz... i tot the place is very nice yet romantic! but... the real one is the opposite one! godnesssss! not only that, there are many stalls and competing each other! all of them persuading us for visiting their stall! scary ~.~

btw... after a happy day... a small sad scenario, quarreling with my dear =( but, ended up with a sweet night la ^.<

Day 2

- st' paul church

- the Wall

1 hour b4 check out, v went to the Red House! but only for less than 1hour! =(

what make me sad is.. the parking fee is RM5 per entry!! godness! i juz went for less than 1 hour then it costs me rm5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! walao-A, my heart nearly dropped out!

v hav been in the Jonker Walk after check out! 6 of us - 3 couple had been crunching for 60 chicken rice balls+5 yam rice balls.. it is totally a quirk! even the waitress got shock when taking order. how could 6 teenagers finish up 65 about 3cm diameter-sized rice balls???????? even me, i doubted tat too.. (initially, i told them 2 rice balls will do for me b4 taking order.. but.. my bf laughed me TT so sad...)

after all, v took around half an hours (i guess) to finish up about 30 rice balls! godness, stomach was complaining as all the balls rolling inside! all of us was hesitating for having another 1 rice ball! if v chose to leave the balls there, it's a wastage! (haha! wad to do? eat lo!) due to our not-to-give-up and not-to-lose spirits, v poured all the balls into our mouths! ended up, i ate the least.. only 6! the girls ate d around 7-9 balls and the most, my bf's cousin.. around 16-18balls! he is damn pro wei! 名副其实的饭桶 =.=

the best thing happen at night! hehehe! i stayed overnight at my bf's house! 3-first time happened in the same day! the first time i met his dad, the first time i met his granny, the first time i stayed overnight at his house! soooo sweet =D

his mom is so caring =) she knew that i m going for nose operation, she stopped the order of crabs and anything may harm me b4 dinner. she asked my bf to sleep in the guest room instead of his own room because of dust! btw, at the end of the dinner, i finished up almost the whole crab!

soon after, my bf bullied me! dun wanna let me eat with the reason of : "juz after dinner, how come u so fast hungry?!" hahaha~ i also dunno! i will get hungry faster at night! especially after a tired day! my bf treated me badly! juz gib me a cup of milo without any biscuit! =.= but the milo doesnot work for my stomach! luckily, auntie cook me a bowl of organic maggie mee at 11.xx pm! otherwise, i will have been starving the whole night! hope that my appetite will not freak auntie out ;'P

1 more to go!

2010-09-01T07:07:00.001-07:00

hooray!

one more to go! one more to go!

go go go, a leh a leh a leh!

btw, i m nt really satisfied with exam!

i did the same n same n still the same mistake again again n again!

u can c how ATTENTIVE i am!

i alwis remind myself "dear ah dear, the interest loan a, even nt stated, u still need to write it as finance cost n accrual"

end up, hehehe~ still the same mistake!

wad the hell my brain is filled up with?!

*boy friend kut*

btw, i still managed to balance it!

give me 5! 555!

***i did many times before the exam, yet, cant balance the omg account! tat's y i m so happy when i get the balancing figure in the exam***

btw, nt a thing to be proud off, becoz, balance not equal to i m right!

after exam, my friend reminded me my mistake! *neh, the still-the-same mistake lo*

what to do? haiz.. i m nt attentive enuf.. n, the most brilliant of me, i jumped the addition information.. without hesitation! means, not even a look into it! i dun even know there is a SMALL line of sentence below it! i should bring n wear a magnifying glass in the exam hall next time~! hmm hmm hmm~ what to do, what to do~! it's a past!

i should now look forward instead of looking backward. so, do u!

*even then, i m still relaxing~! used up my brain juice today, rest je la!*

not enf tme to study liao.. haiz~!!!!

:-( my tax!

2010-08-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

i did badly in my Taxation today.

the first time, i dunno what to do..

the first time.. i dun even care whether it's correct or not..

juz hoped the time can pass faster and faster..

i hope not to hav a time for me to double check my ans as i hv totally no idea whether i made mistakes or i din!

hmm..

btw, it passed!

my promise myself, will study harder next sem! XD

next sem je la!

haha~

lazy.. should i contuinue to study now.. i m tired :'(

18年来的我。

2010-08-25T02:47:00.000-07:00

我突然觉得自己白活了十八年++
今天我要来一个大“踢爆”

这十八年的我。

到底是个怎样的人。

我到底是活来干什么！

都是一些不为人知的我。

是时候改变了！

我想要另一个不同的我。

我是一个羡慕心很强的人。

其实已经到达了妒忌的境界。

总之，任何人好过我，我就从羡慕到妒忌。

往往就会变得很偏激。

考试就变成战场。

上战前的我，就会很紧张，很怕，很不想活。

为舍？

分析之后，我就是怕输，不甘心！不想别人踩在我头上！

所以，每逢考试，我都回先热身~~哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭哭！

这些我都不敢问别人，告诉别人的问题。

别人问我，为什么你会这样？

我就会说：压力！怕考到差！（其实是原因之一）

原来，要解决问题，就要对症下药~

妈妈，VY告诉我：人不可能永远第一。

我知道，可是，我就是不甘心！不爽！不喜欢!

妈妈说：怕？！有什么好怕的？怕也要考，不怕也要考！为什么不能放轻松去考？？

我知道这个原理，可是我就是做不到!

我就是不喜欢输给我认识的人。很变态吧？！

我喜欢比较。为什么她/他可以好过我！不喜欢！

可是，我往往就忘记了，我自己也可能是别人羡慕的对象。

妈妈说：我有一个很好的家庭，父母不计较成绩，家里不等我的薪水过活~男朋友又疼我。要什么有什么。样貌条件又不差~还有什么渴望？！享受上学，享受学院的生涯，不好吗？？最重要的还是家庭。

这句倒是很值得安慰~

我很在意别人的一举一动，尤其是好过我的人。我会想要弄垮那个人。甚至想杀死他们！（哈哈，想而已)...让他/她落到我后面。尤其是当那人成绩好过我时！

但，就算你弄垮了一个比我厉害的人，世界上还有千千万万个比我厉害的人。

我真的很坏。这样的自己往往是一个人不敢面对的自己。

可是，我真的很希望这次的“告白”，会为我带来改变！真心希望。也希望有人可以开解我，改变我。

真心为我祈祷，希望这样的我，可以快点改变！不要再怕考试，不要再为考试担心，哭泣！有什么办法可以帮到我呢？

我不想再哭。。哭了十八年。每次考试。。。我真的很辛苦。。。很想死掉算了。。。

P/S: 我最讨厌那些读了书，却说自己什么都不会，还没读的人。这些下三流的伎俩是我在小时候才会做的事。=.=

Life~~ juz a merely process!

2010-08-23T20:03:00.000-07:00

life life life~

oh my life..

one word : miserable...

study study study...

the heart is swinging.. from stress to relief.. then, felief to stress..

i hate me.. the me before exam...

cry non stop.. worrying everything..

how can i stop being like tis?

is it i hv to be like tis even at 30 years old..

ohhh, plz dont... i need someone to cure me.

is it psychology therapy is useful?

haiz..

but, juz one time, costs me 3++ bucks! NO WAY!

my future - my life

2010-08-20T10:40:00.000-07:00

i think i will possibly change my mind not to continue my degree at Uk after CK gave us a brief.. why did my mind restricted to only UK? becoz of i had(past tense for current) bf there? og godness.. i had been studying for him? gosh!

if rm50,000 i can get a degree with a master, it's preferable. i hv to re-planning my future, re-think on the routine i m going to step on to a brighter future. no longer the "aiyo, wait to marry la! stay at home to be huang mian po." erm... maybe, this will be part of my life still.. but, i m thinking to hv a different life style which postpones my "huang mian po" sort of life~ becoz, family birngs a significant meaning to me. i hope my husband can take care for my whole life while i can take care of my parents and children whole-heartedly. career n business is ntg to me compared to the word 'family'. Y^@^Y

2010-08-20T00:02:00.000-07:00

let's c the ingredients of the day :

- happy+sad

- stress

- laziness

my mood swings!

from sad to happy, from happy to sad. ouch!

wad is definite : no mood to study!

hmmm... ;(

yet, i still need to study no matter how..

worrying of insufficient study time..

yet, wasting time in comic.. youtube!

*err, blogging is nt counted as a waste of time right???*

the quote today:

i was born with nothing and therefore, i treasure everything ;')

say byebye to immaturity and ignorance

2010-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

when a person grown up n looking backward to the routine stepped on,

there is an sense of - IMMATURITY -

still rmb?

"i dun wan to friend with u d"

"我不要跟你好了"

in dept, in the facet of -MATURITY -, all of us know there will hv no long-lasting friend as well as enemy.

as we are growing, many thing in the world becoming complicated..

yet, the matter is still the same, the nature of the thing is still the same, the subject, the object, the environment have never been changing.

yet, the biggest change is the mindset and the thought of us.

no longer the kid, no longer the thought...

as we are getting closer n closer to the reality and the complicated society.

the growth drives us to think smartly, to think wisely, to protect our own self as well..

as such, the selfishness and hatred are controlling our sense of simplicity...

the world is darkening..

the fierce of losing + the fierce of being ntg is hunting..

the FIERCE creates everything...

the world is still the same, the me is changing though...

i m a loser.... for everything

2010-08-13T07:46:00.000-07:00

kinda down down down.....

down - omg.. exam coming!

down - omg.. my coursework is o0o suck!

down - becoz of the previous "down-s"

i m freaking despair...

bloody hell, my study is damn poor lately..

i m now out of earth.. the brain filled ntg..

wad should i do? wad should i do?!

T.T my dun wan my CGPA drops!

touch wood!!!!

i m a wonk, i admitted that!

i m not those kind of smart,

i m juz hardworking *yet shameless*

i hate tis fact..

i hate tis life..

i tried to be smart, but, i can do ntg as i m the wonk in nature.

i m juz hoping against hope.

i wanna clarify a matter to the world

" i m nt clever as i hv no link with the word 'SMART' "

contrast

2010-08-08T22:16:00.001-07:00

Plz..... dun ever render me fading up... or else, the same thing will happen again...
y ppl will only rmb ur fault instead of wad u hv contribute to them? juz a fault will set off the goodness u did... is it tis kind of friendship is durable yet valuable? worth for u to treasure it? i doubt that... friendship includes of tolerance... m i suppose to call it a day? i doubt.. tired of comforting, tired of pretend ntg...

Strive for it!

2010-08-08T10:21:00.000-07:00

everything seems changing..

even though it's a norm or somehow called "nature" @.@,

yet, i m still care about that..

the -ship -ship -ship again!

come on, the ships are going to sink!

i m still holding them though.. >.<

hope for a brighter tomorrow!

hope for a better days after.

not going anywhere, not running here n there,

i m here, for taking care those ships!

if all of u would be sinking,

no big deal~!

pull me down together!

becoz building a ship is not difficult, maintaining it is much more harder as it involves the efforts of others!

juz like what v have learnt, maintenance cost can be classified as both product n period cost!

y it's product cost? becoz it can be indirectly traced on the material...

y it's period cost? becoz it is needed from time to time...

i m no longer avoiding! stand n still unless.....!

so, if u are one of the ships, y not doing it together,

Ship Is For All, but NOT only U n ME......

2010-08-07T09:47:00.000-07:00

have been watching "the Vampire Diaries" for at least 10 hours! feeling great yet tired! the script for this movie is juz so unpredictable! i hate such movie =.= render me indulging all the way round! btw, nt fun to watch it by waiting the broadcast of the movie epi-by-epi, so.. a merely breath-taking of me will do! watched it until the end, the mad me when putting myself in the fantastic movie~!

ouch! my eyes are warning me!

wad a owner for the poor "Window of Soul"

kk, i will let both of u to rest soon!

the pictures of my day!

it's time to say byebye n goodnight!

toodle-oo!

with regards!

2010-08-05T09:37:00.000-07:00

sis, how can a tiny me achieve ur eng level? ur eng are juz so good even in boggie~ juz forget about the vocabularies u used, ur grammar are juz so nice yet fluency!

jealous + envy = despair!

>.<>

cannot be lazy!

haha~

but, ended up, still be the same me!

haiz!!!!

Clinique Star Tour

2010-08-05T05:20:00.000-07:00

i was selected..

happy?

of course!

but, if i cant get into the final.... oh~ damn embarrassing!

if i m not selected, at least, no ppl will know..

after being selected, need to ask for vote as it will be more embarrassing if no vote for me.....

dun u think?

haiz.....

wat to do wad to do?!!!!

the old me returns!

2010-07-31T03:42:00.000-07:00

hate the feeling of scare before exam..

crying for the exam..

over-care about the marks,

afraid of lower marks!!!!!

all these!!!

the COWARD me!

i hate tis!

hate this!!!!!!

juz dun wan to bother again..

can i?!!! arghhhh!!!

LOVE - the matter of two - U n ME

2010-07-30T10:05:00.000-07:00

ME n HE

driving down along the road...

do u

wan to be stable?

*holding with both hands..*
OR

wan to be a high risker?

*try it up with only a single hand!*

LOVE

is juz the same..

by holding hands,

it will be a secure way down to future...

or else,

will juz put the love on the peek of the mountain..

will rolling down some day sooner or later...

this is not so called, LOVE

in lieu,

endless of selfishness..

after all,

wad i m trying to express?

dear S.Y.L,

i love u so much even though i am alwis bad to u..

u r alwis the single hand awaiting for my warm-less hand

without a single word..

thanks so much for everything u hv been giving me...

*even though ur dishes were yucky*

but,

appreciate a lot..

XOXOXO

with love, from blessed me..

boringness, the ingredient of my life especially when studying

2010-07-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

hey,

i hv deserted my blog for long time..

wad to do? no time wad ;(

i m studying FA right now.. i think i have been addicting to FACEBOOK..not becoz i m loving it, it's becoz 'M-USED-TO".. it has became part of my life.. the thing that cannot be forgotten everything, like a rhyme ><

Godness... i need to make a change d!!!!

Officially, BYE BYE

2010-07-23T07:51:00.000-07:00

feeling sad once i got to know Sheera, one of my classmate not going to continue her study with me for the rest of the routine...

so sad....

no longer a multiracial DAC 25...

(no car can be tumpang too, XD)

keberatan to say bye bye to her......

the ever first impression towards her is...

omg, she is juz alike with 杨怡(the hong kong star)

i love to KAP her in the class at the beginning...

gradually, v mixed up like salad, chit-chatting, joking, PD-ing..

wad a bad friend she is ;(

not even a word before she left~

some of us knew this news through others...

not even a BYE..

at least,

i can hav a hug, a picture with her..

haiz.........

sad...................

by the way,

take care my friend ;)

will call u out for gathering!

the most important, dun forget us!

Friendship isn't a big thing - it's a million little things.

with regards...

where is the dream, where am I =)

2010-07-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

hoping against hope?!

oh no!

making a dream,

asking for dream,

rejected by dream.

haha!

my dream??

not really sure about tat.

erm..

modeling?

mom, " stop dreaming! dun play non sense! "

BF, "cannot! "

o.O

no dream anymore!

haha~

getting for another dream..

haha

a reachable dream.. by $

sharpen up my Eng!

wish to be a very good Eng Speaker+Writer,

with zero grammar, zero "ka-ka-ka" in speaking.

no longer needed ppl to check my essay,

instead, checking others' >.<

how shameless am I.... XD

20 July 2010

2010-07-20T04:33:00.000-07:00

我真的累了。。。

他真的认定了我不会走。。。

或许是真的。。。

但，我真的很辛苦。。

每次骂架都是我错。。。

我真的很辛苦。。

最近的我真的一直为了他哭。。。

he takes me for granted...

haha... he said he din, but, he did..

feeling like being manipulated...

tired of playing mind game....

i lose becoz i love him so much,

u win, becoz u take me for granted..

i leave becoz i fall..

the first time, my mom saw me cried becoz of him..

stop being like tat...

it's over....

alwis blame tat i dun understand him..

did he?

ya, i m the one 宪家

当一个男朋友觉得你放太多的假设，

或许，

他和你已经不再爱着对方。

或许，

是嫌弃，不耐烦的开始。

我不需要你的同情，

不需要你的陪伴。

更不需要你的支持，

因为我要的，你并没能给。

不是不能。。。而是，厌倦。

体谅，

是我唯一不能给你的。

我目前最想知道的就是，他对我今天化妆的评语。。

我最想让他看到我美丽的一面。

但，我放弃了！

2010-07-20T02:56:00.000-07:00

nice?

omg!

it's not so me!

juz back from school after enjoying the make-over with my friend, CP

haha..

i hv 'occupied' GF's phone memory much!

haha~ thanks ya,

XXX

God has given you one face, and you make yourself another. ~William Shakespeare

2010-07-19T07:42:00.000-07:00

emoing-psycoing-hating-pretending..

a formula derived from my life..

eventually, i realized my life is tat much meaningless.

to be pretending..

to be ignorant...

to be everything you wan me to be..

while losing the one-God-given..

everyday, striving for the same target..

"which step i need to take today"

"which subject i need to do"

"when exam will be there"

"how to inprove my ENG"

"WORK HARD TO BE A SCHOLAR"

i have been living for no point..

my life, my -ship, my studies,

all can be depicted by SUCK

ending my blog today,

"Almost every man wastes part of his life in attempts to display qualities which he does not possess, and to gain applause which he cannot keep. ~Samuel Johnson,The Rambler, 1750

- the ME

with regards.. XX

2010-07-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

bloggie mood ;)

erm.......

yet.. ntg much can share!

juz feeling to write!

wad to write?

ntg..

haha~ from here,

derive a conclusion..

i m juz so 38 and boring!

ohya,

one thing to share!

will be hiking with my boyfrenz...

should i prepare a rope to pull him up?

or, maybe a kiss will do?

haha..

the most i sure is that,

BRiNG MORE TISSUE!

he will definitely be sweating cats and dogs!!

2010-07-17T09:32:00.000-07:00

some sort of boringness in my blog, right?
especially the song..

" hey eh.. ehh ehh ehh ehh ehh...
your lipstick stains.........."

haha! wad i can do is juz to change the song~
even though i hope to express my life in a lively manner..
forgive me.. ;'(

2010-07-13T10:55:00.000-07:00

so sad when i heard tat my bf dun like the couple shirt i bought 4 him. I had been choosing n deciding 4 at least half hour. So hurt after he said he dun wan wear it.

during the boring mid-9

2010-07-13T09:57:00.000-07:00

doing smtg boring again,

STUDY n STUDY n STUDY n STUDY n STUDY

this word cant run away from my life unless i get the a little not-so-proud recognition by ACCA

how poor i m ;'(

can someone come and sayang me?

haiz.......

is it hard to finish ACCA paper?

all my friends : of coz!

so sad wei..

how can i, a wonk get through it without repetition or a long-breathed sigh?

haha~

touch wood touch wood!

no repeat! no repeat!

i love to curve myself indeed!

need to continue my study!

procrastination is alwis nvr a good idea in STUDY

see, now i deserved it!

toodle-oo!

sweet dream..

wif. love

I have grown up,,, it's time for me to carry on my own responsibilitis

2010-07-06T00:13:00.000-07:00

finally,
i voice it out...........................
haiz....
i reminded myself to be silent...
but...
it seems to be useless..
i cant control myself...
maybe, i take things seriously......
i juz wan things to be good...
but, it's not a good excuse to let it goes.....
i knew tat.......
everthing might not be the same...
but, i am trying hard to maintain the same.....
btw, ...
i broke it.......
i broke my own promise..
is it the time for me to change a new environment?

everything will still move on even without a tiny ME...
maybe, better fluency..

2010-07-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

my heart is somehow calm down right now compared to yesterday and the day b4..

my heart beat was fluctuating these 2 days as the bad luck was tied up with me no matter what i do, regardless of where i go...
it's one word "BAD"
haiz......
the day before yesterday,i broke my mom's cartoon magnet on the refrigerator...
was it a bad omen tat time but i was the one not realising?
hmm...
dunno la....
when, at the time, i felt like 'OMG' as the head to the cartoon, turtle was broken into 2!
i glued it up and went to bed...
am i superstitious??
but, sometimes, thing is going out of earth.... it's terrible!

at the same day,
i met all the bad things once in a lump sum!

i found tat i lost my watch when the exam was t to commence!
Baby-G, rm2xx
the first watch from my bf!
it's cute pinky watch!
*should i use "was" instead of 'is"?*
i knew that i cant answer the exam even i was sitting in front of the paper,
instead of sitting there and stare,
i chose to looking around even the exam started..
the only lucky thing was tat, C.K, my tutor, allowed me to do so!

after running n looking around juz like a lunatic,
i found nothing!
what to do?
going back with an empty soul!
but, i warned myself, test was still going on,
u need to finish it no matter how..
btw, i was juz answering the paper with tear rolling...
the bad luck did continued!
after all my friends passed up their exam paper,
oo!
back out!!!!!!
i was the only one sitting for the exam!
omg......GOD! do u see me? do u know i am sitting for exam?!! GOD, is it u r high-teaing?!!!
what to do?
cried badly afterall, in front of public, my class + group 26!
oh gosh, u were really high-teaing!
forget to send ur luck to me!
wad was going on then? i squatted down beside the door and finished up my questions with the mere sunlight!

btw, thanks u, my friends for comforting me, Pamely(lending me her light through her phone), and a girl from group 26(dunno who she is as my tear occupied my eyes fully)

is it, the day ended up peacefully ever after?
ho, u r definitely wrong!
my broke my spectacle!
wth!

okie, the first day story, done!

come to second day night!
i was quarrelling with my bf b4 we were about to go out!
juz after i changed my clothes,
my friend reminded me to send her a file!
opppppssss! ya ho!
then, i spent almost 20mins to send the file from my f's laptop!
during this 20mins, the live show of quarrel was on-air!
wth, he was non stop looking into his watch!
from tat, i know that he has another date!
when i asked him to fix his PC for me, he pressed the PC abruptly,
and spoke loud in front of my family SOFTLY!
wad the hell..
then, in car, another boom!
becoz of his temper, he ran the car n ended up,
hit a motor driver???!!!
the motor hit his car??!!
dunno la!
accident!
the motor driver was so fierce!
but, my bf more fierce!
the guy said 'okie, nvm! ntg!' angrily!
(dunno wad happened d....)
the shouted at me! even not the first time, but tis time, his voice is really scary!
i was freaked out!
who is the one beside me?
do i know him?
wad i did, crying again.......

my life--- crying

no title

2010-06-24T03:32:00.000-07:00

phewwww.... first coursework bye bye!
FA, Financial Accounting,
not that hard as i thought!
but, it's as rush as unexpected!
omg!
once i got the paper, one glance, then started writing!
witout thinking 4 more!
dunno whether correct o nt,
sekali lumsum blahhhhhh inside!
then only i checked!
haha
luckily, i balanced it!
another "phewwww ewww ewww..."
the difficulty is actually 3/10!
is juz to finish it in a extremely limited time,
quite a sheer mistreat!
unless, more practices!

need to sharpen up my skill again!
cant juz stop and stare at the paper even once!
gambateh miss. Li yean!

>.< my bf hilang d!!!!!

2010-06-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

where is my bf????
my msg cant reach him 15hours after his flight!
impossible if he is in Saudi right now!
becoz,
as if he reach there n on his phone, i will know!
but, my msg is nt yet delivered!!
where is he going?!
is it possible he is taking the straight-way flight?!
>.<
worrying............ worrying.................

*tomolo is my FA cousework... the more i worry, the more i did wrong T.T
pray for me k?

一场游戏...一场永远都会输的游戏..

2010-06-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

i lose the game...
i m the one here to quit..
will nvr come back..
no way to appeal,
no way to re-match..
a silly game..
becoz of a silly me..

i was kicked out forever..
no matter how much i hope to be bounded back to the match..
it's the principle that anyone needs to follow..
no matter the earth stops..

lose in the game
is juz as same as losing all the pride..
all the unwanted truth being revealed..
the ashame.. the cruelty..
are those rewards for the loser..
i m.. loser..in all sorts..

long-time-ago post

2010-06-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

proud huh? not at all! stress wei!

desperate to scold ppl right now!!

2010-06-17T05:03:00.000-07:00

i hv met up with 4 very darned bastards on the way of love!

the first one,when i was in F1
becoz of ppl's persuasion, came n chased me!
what the heck!
u tot who i m?
the hell!
i din even believe or put it in my mind when someone told me!
when i tot i was the blessed one, he gone!
not even a message!
hurt me!
from the time on, all the handsome r heartless!
since then,
i longed to make over myself up!
dun ever hv a chance for me 2 meet u again!
i wont ignore u indeed,
i will hold ur hand n tell u indeed,
"thanks for nt being with me, or else,the hell will nvr ever end"

deepest thanks to the second one..
the friend of the first one!
oh god,
fucker!
worsen than the first one!
chasing me suddenly, by sending those words......
i din possess strong feeling 2wards...
erm...
frankly,not at all,
maybe, some...
okie, he sms me, i juz reply with a true heart!
he was in hospital tat time..
i felt worry n wad i can do was juz sms him to spend his boring spree..
he was defenitely a gangster! as same as the first one!
after few days(within 1 week)
what the heck,
a girl called me!
" hello, i m crystal. are xxx chasing u?!"
oh my god, who the hell she think she is?!
oh... finally, i got it!
the bastard's girl friend, Bitch(not a friendly n kind one!)!
the bastard din even mention a word about tat!
n, keep on telling me, he was single.
i suppose that i was in unconcious at the time when i was ansering the call!
"no la! who said he chases me? he juz boring n sms with me"
how kind i was? i was helping a bastard to lie to his gf!
end of time, what did i get in return?
he called,"who tell u i m chasin u? i din okie?!"
with a bloody hell different tone!
oh god, where i can find another shameless guy from tis world ever again?!
i hd been helping him, in turn, he scolded me?!
after he got to know i din mention even a single word to his gf about us,
he found himself guilty n sms me, but not apologized,
juz like wanna be friend!
wad a hilarious joke!
Bastard, do u know, i hate u much?!
u hurt me!

again, handsome one is bad one!

feeling despair...............

2010-06-15T05:05:00.000-07:00

OMG...
i did run out of idea about the damn god MAF!
luckily, CIMA wouldnt never ever as my target!
orels e, i suicide~
i love FA!

*i hv to stay alert to finish my MAF even though i m totally all in! @.@
kill me, C.K

>.< memorable!

2010-06-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

DRAGONFLY? o.O no la! is "zhuan zhuan" in Myanmar!

i used to own tis, but it was a plastic bird!
mine was not in diet *why tis "zhuan zhuan" so slim?* ;P
the bird was a little bit meaty! XP
each of us, my bros n me, owned 1!
i still remember mine was light pink.. then my bros... blue n green if not mistaken!
i dunno where my mom bought it, n my family has forgotten as well!

once i saw dieted "zhuan zhuan"(from my tutor, M.K)
it reminded me my childhood life!
my bros n me..
we bathed together,
how they bully me,
how they teased me..
the more important,
WHY THE GRILLE IS HERE!
HOW I, A LITTLE KID, BROKE THE DOOR!
WHERE I USED TO CRY WHEN TRAVELING
*thanks to my eldest brother, he captured down one of the stair in Penang where i used to cry & make trouble last year =.=*
>.<
how good if i can go back my childhood life!

my friend, Jade ney ney!

2010-06-05T20:47:00.000-07:00

my blog has been cobwebbed for long period..
sorrie ya.. little bloggie >.<

another boring week passed!
but, my friend, Ney Ney brightened my weekend! ;)
Ney, a nick name of my childhood friend.
y she got the name?
she mom used to call her 'Honey',
after all, v shortened it by the only "Ney"
from here, you can c how close v are!

she was juz back from Toronto, Canada.
she changed her citizen from malaysian to canadian few years ago juz like her mom.
she changed a lot,
going canada juz like a kampung girl,*no discrimination, i love her*
coming back with all-new-looks fashionable, fabulous yet stylish lady!
juz went shopping with her yesterday!
OMG! from top to toe, all branded stuff!
btw, this proved that, she has a very wonderful life there even a immigrant.
i feel happy for her :)
she is treated well...
her bf as well treats her well like a treasure!
i feel relief after i heard tat..
i know that her mom has a tough life there...
i juz hope they are happy ever after..
becoz they are juz too good to us, my family.

having a shopping spree,
she is totally & completely a walking cosmetic dictionary!
know all the cosmetic brand n their products.
which one is good n which one is juz satisfactory, n the worst!
haha!
will get her opinions b4 buying ;P

btw... i advised her not to spend too much as the life there is not tat easy．．
haha~ i think my advice is useless as she told me:
'the students there all using either Guess or Coach,and blackberry'
=.= speechless.................................................

我真的很烦。。。

2010-06-02T05:59:00.001-07:00

我真的很烦
全部的事都给我搞砸了。。
我好像真的很‘黑仔’
好像水和我一起做事都会沉船。

放学后的美

2010-05-31T23:18:00.000-07:00

Obviously, not very happy and freaking down theses few weeks.

but, after school today and yesterday, i realized that,
the sun light is so bright,
as it penetrates the cloud n the crown of the trees,
it's totally amazing ❤
seems like a stair delivering the angel right in front of me..
*watching too much of cartoon*

besides,
i saw various cars from different state of malaysia
were on the same road yesterday!
y do i say so?
thanks to NUMBER PLAT!
there were JJJ,Q_Q,M__,K, DAX,ZZ,DAX,PHK,KBT... manymany else!
i tot it was juz a coincident! maybe due to hari wesak or something else.
I WAS WRONG, it's every-day's scene!

then, i derived a formula *;P formula pulak* :
地球还是不停的转动，不论你是开心，伤心，还是心情交叉！
当你不开心的当儿，
你会忽略了很多事情。
当你在意一件事时，
你会忽略更多美好的事！
所以，我学会了放弃。
放弃一些对我有害的事。
或许，对您来说，却会放弃是愚蠢的。
可是，
与其痛苦，不如一了百了。

误打误撞的头发

2010-05-28T22:38:00.000-07:00

"All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you"

2010-05-27T21:59:00.001-07:00

like tis adage much!

keep going! keep going!
out of blue, there is a shiny bright day awaiting ;)

dunno wat to write on this post!
hhhhhmmmmmmmmmmm....

going to cousin's wedding party soon.
not-so-close-in-relation cousin's weeding party..
yet, our relation is darned close in law!

dunno whether my cousin will intro me some guys friend like used to be or not? >.<
he is so 38 yet daring!
even dare to tell my mom his friends wanna know me!
how dare he was!
gib him an applause! XP

btw... hopefully, i will meet my little niece and my new sis-in-law!

difficulties

2010-05-22T21:07:00.000-07:00

i found that i face the difficulties in speaking..
maybe it thanks to keep-my-mouth-shut in long time
n even dun like to participate in group activities...
do i really change?
i dunno...
i wan the normal me..
but..
i wan the quiet me too... at the same time.
what to do?

Friend is no longer friend

2010-05-18T07:53:00.000-07:00

it's hurt...
wanna let it go..
but, i cant...
but, wad to do?
there is no one has the intention to save it..
but end it instead.

NEW LIFE AHEAD

2010-05-16T20:26:00.000-07:00

my school life returns today!
Year 2, Sem 1!
a new sem, a new life ahead!
need to add oil for the whole year!
wow!
feel energetic!
end of year 2, i can hav a flight to UK to visit my boy friend!
it has been alerting me the whole year to save money n study hard..
btw, any relevant between study hard and save money???
haha.. i guess it's definitely NO!
but..
at least, i hv a target to strive for >.<

TARC here i come!!

copy from my friend ;P it's somehow funny ;D

2010-05-15T07:24:00.000-07:00

树多必有枯枝，人多必有白痴。
君子报仇，三年不晚。小人报仇，一天到晚。
医生叫我行光合作用,别熬夜。
帅有个屁用！到头来还不是被卒吃掉！
就算是Believe 中间还是有个 lie。
就算是Friend 最后还是会有个 end。
就算是Lover 最后还是会 over。
就算是forget 也要先 get才行。
就算有个wife 心裡也要假设 if。
压力始终来自于新台币！ (人民币)
树不要皮，必死无疑。人不要脸，天下无敌。
人生(人蔘)，不过比当归长一点。
怀才就像怀孕，时间久了才能让人看出来。
上帝给了我们七情六慾，我们却把它们变成了色情和暴力。
最浪漫的三个字不是「我爱你」，而是「在一起」。
前程四紧就是：手头紧、眉头紧、衣服紧、时间紧。
青春就像卫生纸。看着挺多的，用着用着就不够了。
女人的爱是用说的，男人的爱是用做的。
幸福离我们很近，但，我们都忘了靠近。
天底下没有所谓複杂的事情，是人的思维和感情把它複杂化了。
福利不是问题，问题是没福利。钱不是问题，问题是没钱。
今日事今日毕，过了今日就不必。
皮夹裡的发票永远比钞票多。
我不是随便的人，但我随便起来不是人。

A Nightmare On Elm Street

2010-05-15T06:57:00.000-07:00

tis movie costs me 10 bucks!
erm.. btw.. i rated it 5/10

it was quite scary n horrible in the beginning... but... it was ended up with with classic song........
"Dream.. Dream.. Dream...."
quite funny ;P

white VS yellow

2010-05-12T02:46:00.000-07:00

after 'watching' other blog's babies pic..
an idea came into my mind!
wadcha?
hehe! i'll definitely bring my camera to UK next year to capture all the western babies as they are so cuteeeeee!
akhhhhemmmm...
i din mention that i m looking down 'yellow babies',
i love them btw ;)
it's juz tat i seldom come in contact with 'white babies'~~ ;P

my feeling right now

2010-05-10T09:34:00.000-07:00

like to keep 'out' touch with the outside-world...
juz wan to be alone.. nt knowing much..
avoid from making n facing trouble...

2010-05-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

可能我们真的有不同的理念.
我们要的或许是一样的.
可是,到达的方法是不一样的.
你是觉得:现在用的,我以后可以赚回来.
但,
我觉得的是:先存着,不管以后赚不赚得回.未雨绸缪.
我的想法是:如果我用了,以后没有了,又赚不回来,怎么办?

凡事我都会铺一条出路给自己.
或许你有.但,我看不到.也没有安全感.
这种感觉很可怕.

你说我专制,对,我是.全部人都知.但,我都是为你好....
或许你不认同.
因为我真的很认真.

还是那句:
我们要的或许是一样的.
可是,到达的方法是不一样的.
我们是不一样.

从前的我觉得,
不同世界的人在一起,生活会更多姿多彩;
可,我发现..
不理是什么关系,亲人.挚爱或是朋友.
原来只是各自辛苦.

或许放手就是解脱。
原来《狼来了》的故事是我最大的讽刺。

striving!!

2010-05-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

wholly hell! i hv been doing the volume of whole year's house-chore!
i hv been painting, washing, mopping, brushing... everything in the house in 3 days continuously!
pity my mom, her job is far more than mine!
wad a very damn bad 'mother's day' for her.

why v mistreat my mom for doing all tis the day b4 Mother's day?
becoz the tenants are in rush! hurry! hurry! and HURRY!
they are patrolling from time to time as their house is near to my house!
they're urging my mom~ my mom is forced!
haha~ my mom said:' the family has kids n hv no place for them in their current house, it's quite pity for them.'
oh my dear mom, it's my turn to feel pity for myself!
i hv developed phobia to : door, fence, window...(i hv been painting them under hot weather!)

hurray n huzzah!
the house is cleaner than ever!!!!! ❤
it's again, the brand new house❤, *somehow*

it's thank to that oh-my-god-very-dirty-plus-dirty auntie!
she spoiled my holiday!
i suppose, she din wash her toilet after a few years shift!
it's totally YUCKSSSSSSSSSSS.
the dust was built up for many levelssss!
my noise was twisted n dropped!!!!

btw... anything came fine after 3 days striving from afternoon-evening and evening-night!
v cleaned the whole house in juz 3 dayssss!!! how fast!

2010-05-07T05:48:00.000-07:00

i totally feel disappointed to 'mata'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
oh my god!
how can u fitnah ppl?
u juz wanna get more 'ming zhi' from my bro!
wad the !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

smile is not everything

2010-05-06T09:26:00.000-07:00

i smile does not mean that i am happy.
however...
i dont smile, it soes mean that i m really sad...

sometimes, sadness is not brought by someone..
but.. it's from my own...
my very own feeling.

it's hurt.....
i cant bear it...
what shud i do..
i juz wan everything to be fine..

2010-05-05T07:04:00.000-07:00

难道虚伪是好的吗？
我真的不会说话了...
我真的很辛苦...
我到底要用什么心态来面对一切？

bad thing ahead! wad a bad omen!

2010-05-04T23:40:00.000-07:00

oh gosh... my day headed up with a not-very-bad-yet-bad happening!
i dare to bet that tis is not the only first tihng!

should hav more is waiting!

forrero rocher ... ♥

2010-05-04T03:41:00.000-07:00

juz a single little forrero rocher lights up my day!
how bravo it is!
i love it as i feel happy,sweet,n blessed with juz a little thing ~♥♥

2010-05-04T03:37:00.000-07:00

c! i cut my hair off!